• Gisèle Schembri

When It's Not 'Ok' To Stay

I’ve heard so many people talk about couples staying together “for the kids’ sake” that it makes me want to scream.

Let me get one thing straight. Family is important, and family is a precious gift. I am happy for people who are lucky enough to have a partner and kids with that same partner and live in love as a family. But if and when things go terribly wrong…

I do understand that children who grow up living with one parent and only ‘seeing’ the other one might be missing out on more time with that parent. I also agree that the bestest environment for a child would be to grow up with parents who love each other and give an example of love. However when things do go wrong, that is NOT the scenario kids will grow up in should the couple stay together.

Imagine being a small kid and being woken up mornings by the sound of mum and dad arguing, or maybe even being unable to sleep of an evening for hearing the front door slam and one or another of the parents storming out after yet another fight whilst the other sobs in the next room.  Try to put yourself in the shoes of a child whose parents never agree on anything, not even about how to raise the child himself/herself. How painful and confusing that must be! Add to this, living in such an energetically toxic home a child cannot possibly be happy, regardless of having both the parents around.

I’ve seen what such a home environment can do to children. It breaks them, making them emotional wrecks, changing even their very DNA and causing them anxiety, making them constantly ill and worse. The first three years of a child’s life, most especially, are the formative years. They will help form the child’s very being and how they interact and feel about all of their life’s facets.

So don’t whisper behind the backs of couples with young kids who have chosen out of their partnership. They have done what they feel is best. Believe me, staying would cause the child more pain.

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