• Gisèle Schembri

Valentine's Alone... Can Be Good Too.

It’s Valentine’s Day. A day for couples, a day for romance. A day which unfortunately, singles out those of us who are, in fact, single (no pun intended!)

In 2018 was the first time I was single on this day and as today neared, I was compelled to look up the blog post I had written that day, thinking I should probably link it on here. However, on reading it, it sounded to me like my former self was quite bitter about the whole idea of being alone and that, as she quoted, ‘Love Stinks’.

‘She’ ie ‘old me’, also mentions having to face couples in a tone that reeks slightly of jealousy and a feeling of not just being left out, but being also somehow ‘left without’. Without love.

I can quite understand where I was coming from. That February was not only the first Valentine’s I spent alone, but also came after the most heartbreaking breakup I ever had. So yeah, maybe love in the romantic sense did stink a bit that day.

Time, and knowledge of the Law of Attraction, has however taught me a lot since then. Firstly, that love is not about being in a relationship or even about being one of two after all. In addition to that, I was also taught that being bitter about someone else’s ‘good fortune’, as I was viewing the fact that all those couples were one of two, can only serve to put us into a prison of our own thoughts.

Let’s start with the first premise: Love in not about being in a relationship or one-of-two.

In fact, love is our feeling for ice cream and parties as well as for people we are related to and friends as well. Love can be of independence, of a career, or our pets. Love comes in many forms, exists on many different levels, and gives us different types of satisfaction depending on what we are thinking of in terms of love. Love can be reciprocated or not, can be illusory or not, can be conditioned by what the other person or pet will do for us, or might actually be unconditional in nature and last through our whole life. In other terms, ‘Love’ is nothing but a vibration that comes from ourselves in relation to what and who is around us. Nothing anyone else does or however much they love you can actually affect you as much as whatever love YOU YOURSELF, have within. In fact, it is a flawed concept that which humans have, which is that you feel happy through having others love you. For really and truly, the reason you feel happy when others love you is because they are showing you the side of yourself that you in fact, love. A person who loves themselves fully will be no poorer should their partner ever leave whilst the person who is co-dependant and feeds off the love others give for self-happiness is in big trouble any time a person goes away from their life. With this same logic, if not through self-discovery, one will in fact find that when they have an unconditional love for another person, that love is in no way dependant on whether it is reciprocated and the person ‘in love’ will continue to be happily in love even in the case of rejection or if for some other reason they must be apart from that person who they love.

The other premise I also mentioned was: Being bitter about other people’s good fortune can only serve to put us in a prison of our own thoughts (and therefore our own making).

Put simply, Law of Attraction never fails. And as ‘Like attracts like’ and the famed phrase ‘As above so below’ both attest, your feelings of bitterness for another can only serve to bring you more bitterness in life. Once again I will mention how unconditional love will set YOU free rather than the beloved, and serve YOU in living your best and happiest life. Therefore in the same way, any ill feelings you feel for others can only ever bring negativity into your own inner being and pull you apart from your self-love.

Despite that I love having people read my articles and my one for Valentine’s of 2018 was a well-written piece I am proud of in the artistic sense, I have decided to NOT link it here. The reason is that I don’t believe, as my article had put it, that love “stinks worse than cigarettes and onion breath rolled into one and dumped on a Maltese bus seat amid the sweat and stink of socks” any more.

Yes, I am facing Valentine’s of 2020 single once again. But this time, I have something that no breakup, and no teasing through Facebook’s newsfeed as I scroll through my happy friends’ couples photos on this day, will ever take away. I love myself. I can celebrate this day of love by having my glass of wine by myself. I can do it whilst scrolling through my friends’ photos putting hearts on my faves, whilst inside knowing that the unconditional love I have can never be taken away.


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