Safeguarding Your Energy From People
In my quest to grow always more as a person, I have often tried to do ‘my best’ and even ‘THE best’, regardless of whether that ‘best’ being talked about was beyond me at that point in time.
One thing I struggle with a lot is dealing with people. Yeah, it’s actually ‘too peopley’ out there for me, and not just ‘out there’ but even online.
Now I follow The Teachings of Abraham © and often religiously so. Which means that when I read their comment that rather than avoid interactions with other people that make us feel bad, we should find a way to face them without having a reaction, it made me feel very much like my approach to ‘keep away’ rather, was a lazy and cowardly move.
What I wasn’t understanding though, was the context in which Abraham were talking. (‘were’ not ‘was’, as Abraham is a group of entities).
Abraham were referring to the fact that most people will have a reaction to whatever anyone else says or does, or doesn’t say or do when expected to do so. Each of us will perceive any interaction based on our current reality, beliefs, past experience and the ideas we have of our present and future. In fact, each person has a different reaction to any interaction, be it with other humans or animals or just situations. One of the worst things a person can do to another is, in fact, lecture someone on their reaction, based on their own perception.
So what Abraham are saying all boils down to this simple tip: observe but don’t absorb, or in simpler terms, do register an interaction but never let it shake you in any way. For what comes out of the mouth of others, as well as the actions of others, are based on their own reality and perception and who THEY are, not you. So the worst thing you can ever do is to take offence for who THEY are or what THEY perceive as your reality (seeing as people have a habit of wanting to ‘advise’ and even control other people’s lives).
That said, there is a difference between not shying away from a conversation or situation based on others’ perception and outright being drained of your energy.
It is ok, and actually more than ok, to keep away from any interaction that you feel to be harmful to you. Being offended for just about anything is one thing (one thing you should work on) but wilfully committing yourself to being there for others’ abuse and for energy vampires is going to the other extreme.
So if you have already told someone ‘no thanks’ and they keep pressuring you to do or watch something or whatever else it is they want you to do or even to not do, then don’t feel obliged, for any reason, to even continue the interaction. You are not running away from a situation or even being lazy by choosing not to face it, when you know it is for your own good that you keep away and the other person is already aware that they are making you uncomfortable. Well-meaning though they are (and believe me, some of them actually think they are chasing you in this way ‘for your own good’), you have every right to shut them out of your reality.
Which brings me to another point that I should add. Just two paragraphs ago I mentioned ‘energy vampires’. Most people associate this term with ‘bad’ people who just wish to thrive on our energy, help and interactions. In truth, you will find that energy vampires can be your own parents, friends, or other very lovely people.
Sometimes a simple energy clash, or the fact that the other person is in a bad place about something right now, might cause them to feed off you even whilst they are unaware that they are doing this. Some of them are needy, others clingy, others still see your happiness and want a part of it. Whilst they are trying to help themselves and I don’t blame them for that, it is not your job to let them use your energy in that way. A balanced energy exchange is a wonderful thing to have with another human soul or even animal, but those interactions that feel like they leave you high and dry are definitely putting you in a dangerous place even as they fulfil the other person’s need of you. Just because they never wronged you in any way doesn’t mean you should be there for them every time they need to feed off you.
So any time you get that crushing feeling that a conversation or any other type of interaction, is not going well, do look at the why. Should it be triggering you, you know that it is your perception that is causing the friction and this can be fixed for future similar exchanges simply through your growth. Should you feel, however, that you are not being triggered in any way and simply getting exhausted out of the communication, put up your boundaries and feel free to leave. You are doing no one a favour, least of all yourself, by continuing a disastrous energy exchange that is one-sided and leaving you the worse for wear.