• Gisèle Schembri

Inspirational People Who Leave Our Life

We all have people we look up to or who inspire us to be better selves. Often we try to emulate them, hold onto their every word and where possible, even try to make them our mentors. Time and time again, I looked up to someone to later find out that they are human and flawed too (well I never would have thought otherwise but we do put people we think highly of on a pedestal at times right?)

It just so happens that often times just a little after I start questioning a friendship or any other type of relationship with said 'Inspirational Person', the Universe intervenes to make them leave my life. It could be a small disagreement, it could be that I unknowingly trigger something in their past, it could be, as happened only days ago, that this person somehow lets their pride or sense of entitlement get in the way of keeping up a friendship with me (at least that is all I can think of in way of explanation when I found myself suddenly blocked by someone who I'd just had a pleasant chat with online the previous day!)

All in all, mentors and inspirations have served me in the short term with their presence, but actually taught me more with their absence once they were gone. They taught me to go on without them in my life, but they also always reminded me of one thing: I am too good. In any and all cases, I had often put their needs before mine, respected them above doing something that would have benefitted me, even put their feelings before my needs. And so every time someone I'd held in high regard leaves my life, I find myself freer to take care of 'me'. Without the constant need to be there for them, to feel responsible for their emotions at whatever I say or do, to tiptoe around my own self to ensure my loyalty to them at all times, I actually feel 'free'.

I am sure not everyone finds themselves in this same spot and I probably have such a hard time putting myself first only because I grew up in an environment where I was always made to comply and have family who to this day make me feel like I 'owe them'.

And yet, we could all get something out of this situation too. Regardless of how 'indebted' you ever felt to someone who has now left your life, or how much you had already distanced yourself before it happened; how autonomous or else co-dependant you were on the particular relationship (and as always by 'relationship' I do not refer necessarily to a romantic one), the severing of a relationship tie will always lead you to feeling like there is a new beginning of sorts in life, one in which you are entitled to reconsider things from a new perspective - both about things that the other person had 'pushed' on you and also the lessons learnt from the 'bad' side of the partnership back when you were still blinkered into thinking everything was fine.

So as always, I have looked on my latest severed tie as a blessing rather than a curse, as the Universe's way to make me stronger by making me stand alone. As I am loyal to a fault, even at my own cost, these breakups give me the chance to do whatever benefits me rather than putting myself aside where I have to choose between myself and others.

Image by Uboiz from Pixabay


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