A Single Girl On Valentine's Day
From year to year, I have had very different feelings about Valentine’s Day. In 2018 I experienced what was not only my first ever Valentine’s Day alone but also whilst still grieving over the breakup from the person I still to this day love most in the world. So as you can assume, my blog post that day was far from cheerful. A year later I spent Valentine’s Day with someone I had just started dating and who, ironically, I split up from just days after that lovers’ day. 2020 saw me in a totally different place, finally in a happy place all of my own, with or without a partner, so that I wrote a very cheery Valentine's Alone... Can Be Good Too.
This year I have very mixed feelings about it all. Single again, I am in a place where I do feel that it would be lovely to share my life with a special someone, and yet I have become independent to the point where only a person who is a right fit, so to speak, is worth the trouble of sharing my days, nights and home with. Still annoyed at that pesky breakup from the person who I still believe was ‘It’, I can’t help but feel that after experiencing that perfect partnership, it is sometimes preferable to be my own boss rather than be one of two.
Those who have followed me for a while know I am not referring to the fact of losing any kind of personal space or autonomy when I talk of being ‘one of two’, for only a man who recognises boundaries and the continuation of being our own selves even when in a relationship, would do at this point. However even then, isn’t it much easier to store your assortment of herbal teas how you want, allow the cats on the dining table and take up the whole of the wardrobe in the master bedroom, rather than compromising at all?
A while ago, in a childish act of defiance towards my latest ex, I wrote on my Facebook wall a very simple ‘Must love cats.’ For truthfully, one of the biggest worries I had about moving in with him was his house rule that cats can’t go into the bedroom let alone get on the bed. Likewise, I often objected when he let one of his huge dogs sleep in the room or get onto the bed. Can you see the snowball of energy being bandied about, about one simple thing?
There is no selfishness in preferring to be alone. Rather, it is more selfish to be in a partnership that makes either of you uncomfortable or not allow one or the other or both to be themselves and live (most especially in their own home) a life that they love.